My Science Project: Another 80's Nerd Flick

The 80's was rife with films that dealt with science and teenage nerds, each of them attempting to make the subject seem cool, most of them failing to capture the coolness of Marty McFly or the success of Back to the Future. The already reviewed WarGames and The Manhattan Project, along with Real Genius and Weird Science were varied attempts to earn the cash of teen movie goers.

Perhaps the least successful and oft-forgotten entry in this genre is 1985's My Science Project. Released in late summer, the movie failed to generate much box office and was negatively received by critics. The film found some life on cable TV, but has only lived on recently in the minds of those nostalgic individuals who read blogs like this one and actually seek out information regarding films from their favorite decade.

Michael Harlan (John Stockwell, Top Gun) is a high school senior who spends most of his time working on his car. His grades have been less than stellar and he needs to pull out all the stops to pass his science class by coming up with a top-notch project. His girlfriend dumps him, so Michael teams up with nerdy Ellie (Danielle von Zerneck, La Bamba) to help with finding the perfect object to present to his class. They end up at a military dump and find a strange glowing device that looks like one of those electrical spheres found at Spencer Gifts. Michael and Ellie, along with friend Vince (Fisher Stevens, Short Circuit) present the device to their teacher (a wonderfully over the top Dennis Hopper). The device is activated and slowly creates pandemonium as it brings items from the past into the present with disastrous results, The students find themselves battling their way through the school in order to rescue a trapped Ellie.

The first two-thirds of My Science Project are fairly uneventful. The characters are introduced. They find the device, mess around with it, it makes their teacher disappear. Fisher Stevens is really annoying. When the device turns the school into a living museum (wait, this plot device sounds familiar...) is where the film really takes off. As the teens work their way through the building, they encounter gladiators, the Viet Cong, aliens, and a T-Rex. This portion of the movie is what the entire film should have been. It's very entertaining, funny, and without question a reason to sit through the first 45 minutes or so.




My Science Project isn't a great movie. Anyone who came through the 80's will find something to feel nostalgic about while watching it. Those who make it to the climax will be rewarded. The movie could, and maybe should be remade as an expanded version of the last 30 minutes. Recommended for those who enjoy dumb 80's flicks.

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn - Cheap Fun

If imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery, then the movie industry sure knows how to flatter. Following the success of both Mad Max in 1979 and The Road Warrior in 1981, Hollywood saw fit to capitalize on the post-apocalyptic theme by churning out several similar-themed duds such as 1990: Bronx Warriors (1982), Stryker (1983), and Exterminators of the Year 3000 (1983). No one remembers these movies, and for good reason. They were cheap B-movies that saw limited theatrical release and middling success in the home video market.

Another cheap Mad Max knockoff released in 1983 that was both critically and theatrically dismissed was Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn. Thanks to late-night TV and VHS, Metalstorm has garnered that coveted "cult-following" status that so many bad 1980's science-fiction films manage to achieve. The novelty of the original 3-D release is gone, but the slightly western-tinged sci-fi fun remains and separates Metalstorm from the pack of imitators.

On a desert-like planet, space ranger Dogen (Jeffrey Byron) makes the rounds in his dune buggy, and is then attacked by an alien on a flying pedestal of some kind. The alien leaves a crystal behind that Dogen takes with him and wants to know more about. During his search for answers Dogen meets such characters as Dhyana (Kelly Preston), Rhodes (Tim Thomerson), and Hurok (Richard Moll). A plot of world domination (what else?) by the hand of Jared-Syn is uncovered, and a few chases in Mad Max style vehicles as well as confrontations with Jared-Syn's cyborg son Baal ensue.

Metalstorm is a blast to watch as yes, it is cheap, but that's part of the charm. The action is fun, if not a bit poorly staged, and the characters are effective enough, each with a history that should have been a bit more fleshed out. There's a certain charm when it comes to hand-puppet sand worms, an animated electrical creature, and a nonsensical plot involving a mysterious crystal mask. The vehicles literally fall apart during the chase scenes, and the staging for 3-D thrills is obvious. All the while it is clear that the cast and crew were having a lot of fun creating this movie, a notion cemented by the interviews contained on the recent Blu-ray release of this film from Shout! Factory.

It would have been nice to have seen a sequel to Metalstorm. The villain gets away, nullifying the subtitle of the movie. The world of Metalstorm is an interesting one that begs for more details to be unearthed in another film. In today's world of remakes and reboots, there's always a chance we'll see another iteration of Metalsotrm. If nothing else, it is one of the coolest titles for a movie, ever, sans the subtitle. Anyone looking for a fun throwback to good old-fashioned cheap movie making should check out Shout! Factory's Blu-ray release. It comes recommended.

The Manhattan Project: "No More Nukes!"

One of my favorite trends in film from the 1980's is the nerdy science kid flick. Although Back to the Future didn't have a nerdy kid, it did have a nerdy mad scientist and a kid. It was also responsible for influencing a number of films with the similar sciencey theme: Weird Science, Real Genius, My Science Project are just a few examples. Suddenly, nerds and science were cool. The Manhattan Project added in the paranoia surrounding nuclear fallout that was at the forefront of the minds of many Americans during the decade.

Released in 1986, The Manhattan Project presented a teenager who was smart but at the same time cool and somewhat rebellious.Young Paul (Christopher Collet) moves to a new town with his mom and experiences the usual alienation that comes with going to a new school and making new friends. He ends up meeting Dr. John Mathewson (John Lithgow), who just so happens to work at a top secret government facility that is producing plutonium. The facility has a medical company as its front, and Paul quickly learns what is really going on and decides to steal some plutonium in order to make his own atomic bomb for the local science fair. Things escalate when Paul is found out and he sets the bomb to go off in order to thwart the progress of the plutonium factory, then must team up with his "enemies" when he realizes the bomb cannot be deactivated.

The Manhattan Project still works as a tense thriller, although its age is starting to show, as Paul's MacGyver-esque methods aren't as clever as they once seemed and the "we have to deactivate this bomb before the whole city is destroyed" plot device has seen its better days. The young leads are convincing enough. Christopher Collet does a fine job of coming off as a cocky teen who knows better than anyone else. Lithgow shines as usual as the increasingly frantic foil for Paul. As a nostalgic 80's piece, the film stands out as a reminder of times past and the anti-nuke sentiment that permeated the day.

The Manhattan Project can currently be viewed on Netflix, and has also somewhat recently seen a release on Blu-ray.

Condorman: Comic Book Spy Spoof

In 1981, comic book movies were limited to Superman. The first two films in that series had released in 1978 and 1980, respectively. Movie studios were still very far from trusting in the genre to bring in the box office revenues that such films enjoy today. Around this same time, Disney was experimenting with live-action films with a broad appeal, as The Black Hole (1979), Midnight Madness (1980), and Watcher in the Woods (1980) sought to capture adult audiences along with the younger set. For the most part this experiment didn't pay off, and Condorman, which was also a comic book movie not actually based on a comic book, was no exception.

Based on a book entitled The Game of X by Robert Sheckley, Condorman is the tale of comic book writer and artist Woody Wilkins, who dresses up like one of his creations, Condorman, to get a sense of realism for his stories. His friend Harry, who happens to work for the CIA, sends Woody on what appears to be a routine and harmless mission to simply exchange some papers. Woody plays along and adopts the codename "Condorman" when he meets a Russian lady named Natalia, who turns out to be a KGB agent who desires to defect. Woody is officially recruited by the CIA to help Natalia defect, and is supplied with vehicles and gear that go along with the Condorman theme. The result finds Woody in many a perilous situation which he manages to bumble his way out of.

Condorman is silly. It's preposterous that the CIA would hire a guy like Woody and spend thousands, maybe millions on high-tech equipment like a cool Condorman car and speedboat equipped with laser guns. Anyone going in to this movie expecting serious super hero fare will doubtless be disappointed. For those who enjoy bad movies that are actually quite good given the right mindset, Condorman is a treat. This is a comedy. Part James Bond spoof, partly inspired by the Pink Panther films, Condorman is fun, light, and goofy with nary a sense of brooding found in many of today's comic book films.

There are elements of Condorman that make it memorable and serve as "classic" features of film that you just don't get anymore. There's a villain with a metallic eye. There are cool vehicles and gadgets. There are plenty of brainless henchmen working for the main villain. There is a great speedboat chase/battle with lasers and explosions. And yes, there are some terrible blue screen effects, and moments you can see the wires when Condorman is "flying". Yes, indeed, Condorman is bad, but it's so good.

One problem for fans of great bad movies or of Disney films or 80's films is the limited availability of Condorman on home formats. Anchor Bay released the movie on DVD in 1999, but it is long out of print. Now the film is available exclusively through the Disney Movie Club on DVD, or a bad transfer through You Tube.

Ranked: Star Trek Films

With Star Trek Beyond currently playing in theaters, and everyone else having already posted their list of best-to-worst Star Trek films, here is yet another slightly different ranking of the previous twelve(!) Star Trek movies. This list will present the movies in order of best to worst, along with release dates. Here we go...

1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Released: 6/4/82

Usually regarded by most as the best in the Star Trek series, The Wrath of Khan is indeed a science-fiction classic. The sense of camaraderie here may possibly surpass that of the original TV show, and even though the budget was smaller than the first movie, director Nicholas Meyer presents a look and feel that would influence the rest of this series. There isn't a slow moment here, and both William Shatner and Ricardo Montalban turn in triumphantly over-the-top performances. One of my personal all-time favorite movies.

2. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Released: 11/26/86

 
While The Wrath of Khan is the best of this franchise, The Voyage Home is the most fun. Each crew member of the Enterprise gets their chance to shine as they travel back to 1986 to save the future. The "fish out of water" concept is executed perfectly. This movie had mass appeal. In years gone by, many of those who were never interested in Star Trek would say, "I'm not a Star Trek fan, but I've seen the one with the whales.".

3. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Released: 12/6/91

 
Director Nicholas Meyer, of Star Trek II, returned to give the original Enterprise crew their send-off, and it couldn't have been better. This one has mystery, adventure, and humor all blended together. Christopher Plummer shines as Klingon villain Chang, and the rest of the supporting cast is obviously having a lot of fun. An underrated score highlights the conflict between Starfleet and the Klingon Empire. The Undiscovered Country can easily make one forget about the dismal Star Trek V.

4. Star Trek: First Contact
Released: 11/22/96

The best of the Next Generation films, First Contact has action aplenty, time travel, the Borg, and a new Enterprise. The crew really shines, highlights being an inebriated Troi, Worf's hammy dialogue as he blasts the Borg, Picard with a tommy gun, and "Magic Carpet Ride" blasting from Zefram Cochrane's ship (a precursor to the Beastie Boys song in Beyond?).

5. Star Trek
Released: 5/8/09

Everything old is new again in J.J. Abrams' reboot of one of the biggest franchises in film history. There's no denying it's a grand adventure on an epic scale, especially that opening scene with the birth of James Kirk. And the actors are spot-on as they fill in the shoes of the original crew. However, something about it's resetting of the history of these characters doesn't sit well, and the set-up for original future adventures is just now being realized with the latest entry, Beyond.

 

6. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Released: 6/1/84

The middle entry of the "trilogy" that's comprised of Star Trek II-IV, The Search for Spock usually gets a bad rap. On the contrary, it's actually very good. A rousing adventure with some great moments including Christopher Lloyd as Kruge and the destruction of the Enterprise, Star Trek III is an 80's sci-fi classic that stands as one of the best of the series. There is simply no merit to the "odd-numbered curse" that film-goers have placed on this franchise.

7. Star Trek: Nemesis
Released: 12/13/02

 

Critics were hard on Nemesis, and it didn't fare too well at the box office, ending the Next Generation film series. The movie isn't really bad at all, even though it's probably the darkest of the bunch. Highlights include an early appearance by Tom Hardy as Shinzon, and his ship the Scimitar, as well as Picard racing around in a futuristic dune buggy. Too bad the Next Generation crew didn't get the send-off The Undiscovered Country gave to the original.

8. Star Trek: Generations
Released: 11/18/94

 
Generations bridges the gap between the original and The Next Generation crews. It was inevitable that Captains Kirk and Picard would meet, and it's fairly satisfying, save for the underwhelming death of Kirk (Oh, my.) toward the end. Data has some good moments, and Malcolm McDowell gives the franchise another great villain. Not a bad way to kick off the Next Generation films, but not a great way, either.

9. Star Trek Into Darkness
Released: 5/16/13
This is perhaps the most divisive film in the series. The love-it-or-hate-it split stems from the similarities between this film and Wrath of Khan. Most see it as unnecessary and poorly executed. Why, after going through the trouble of creating an alternate timeline, would the film-makers copy a previous film? Why would they hire a top-tier actor like Benedict Cumberbatch and put him in the role of Khan? It's unoriginal and infuriating, and while it's not a bad film, it's a bad Star Trek film.

10. Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Released: 12/7/79

 
The Motion Picture had such promise. The director was Robert Wise (The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Sound of Music), the budget was huge for the time, and the sci-fi genre was a sure bet in the late 70's. The result was instead quite a bore. The movie is slow, with many yawn-inducing scenes of the Enterprise in space dock or moving through the ship V'Ger that just go on and on. It's nice to see the crew getting back together at the beginning, and the practical effects hold up for the most part.

10. Star Trek: Insurrection
Released: 12/11/98

 
After the triumphant First Contact comes this drivel. Insurrection was nothing more than an overlong episode of The Next Generation. A boring one. Too much political mumbo-jumbo and a plot that just doesn't seem at all important make this the weakest entry for Picard and crew. How critics rate this better than Nemesis is a mystery.

11. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Released: 6/9/89

 
What comes next after the amazing "trilogy" that was Star Trek II-IV? The worst Trek movie of all. The Final Frontier gave William Shatner the chance to direct a Star Trek movie and the result is a mess. Surprise! Spock has a half-brother named Sybok and he hijacks the Enterprise to go to the end of the universe to find God. Only it's not God. It's a mean alien who is a gigantic head. Terrible.


So there you have it. All twelve Star Trek movies.. Anyone not familiar with this franchise who is interested should definitely start with Star Trek's II, III, and IV. Skip Insurrection and The Final Frontier entirely. All of these films of course are available on home video formats, and some of them are available for streaming on Netflix.

Ranked: Superman Films

With Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice having already released digitally and on physical formats soon, what better time to look back at all of the previous films featuring Superman.  There have been six such films so far (with more on the way), and here they are, from best to worst.

1. Superman
Released 12/10/78

Still standing strong as the greatest superhero movie of all time, Superman is the granddaddy of comic book films. This classic still sets the bar for the genre with its perfect blend of action, camp, and characterization. The scale is epic, and director Richard Donner obviously cares about the material and the character. Christopher Reeve is Superman, and no other actor has represented a pop icon better. Gene Hackman has fun with the role of Lex Luthor. Margot Kidder's portrayal of Lois Lane may not be the most glamorous, but she succeeds at exuding no-nonsense reporter attitude. The effects do show their age, but the practicality of them allows the viewer to appreciate the efforts made by film makers before CGI. If I had to pick one weakness out, it would be the "Can You Read My Mind?" monologue, but it certainly doesn't ruin the film. We wouldn't have superhero movies without this one.

2. Superman II / Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut
Released: 12/4/80, 11/28/06

   
Most of Superman II was filmed concurrently with the original, until director Richard Donner was fired and Richard Lester was hired and finished the film. For whatever reason, Lester decided to tip the scales a little too far on the side of camp, yet still offer a movie that is a superhero classic of its own. The tone is all over the map with the aforementioned camp on one end and harsh violence on the other (the astronaut scene comes to mind). Superman is up against three villains from Krypton, including General Zod, so he actually gets to fight someone this time, spectacularly so in the famous Coke sign scene.
In 2006, Richard Donner was able to see his version through and the result was perhaps a better movie than the original, with plenty of unseen footage. A treat for fans of this series, yet the original still manages to be more entertaining, maybe due to nostalgia, or maybe because the Donner Cut feels incomplete.

3. Man of Steel
Released: 6/14/13


After Superman Returns didn't quite live up to studio expectations ($391 million worldwide), it was time to follow in the footsteps of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy and reboot the franchise. Man of Steel acts as the first movie in the DC Comics "shared universe" series as they attempt to capitalize on the success that Marvel has had with the formula. Opinions regarding this film are mixed, but Man of Steel is a solid superhero film. It is epic in scale, packed with big action, and loud. The action here truly showcases Superman's (and the movies' antagonists') powers. Henry Cavill and Amy Adams shine in the lead roles, while Michael Shannon is menacing enough as General Zod. Shortcomings include an all-too-serious tone, too little time spent on the Clark/Lois relationship, and a lack of fun and humor.

4. Superman Returns
Released: 6/28/06

Upon initial release, Superman Returns was favorably received by critics and audiences alike, yet as time has passed many dismiss the film, citing a lack of action and poor pacing. Despite the backlash, Superman Returns indeed stands as a great superhero film and a nice entry in the series that hadn't seen a good movie in 26 years. The film is pure nostalgia for Superman movie fans, and maybe that's why general audiences didn't get it. This is a traditional comic book movie, a nod to the work of Richard Donner and Christopher Reeve. Watching Superman Returns is akin to seeing a cover band of your favorite music group. It's good, but not quite the same. Whatever the opinion on this one is, that plane crash sequence is one of the most mesmerizing moments put on film in the last ten years.

5. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Released: 7/24/87

Superman IV is considered by most to be the worst in the series, and though it's certainly not good, it's not as bad as Superman III. This film is really a case study for the what-might-have-been. The budget for the film was slashed, resulting in a large amount of story and filmed scenes being cut, and special effects being terrible. This is a far cry from the first film. Even the reappearance by Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor can't give the film a boost. It's also a wonder as to why the villain is Nuclear Man, a character that has nothing to do with the DC hero of the same name. Did Warner Bros. not have the rights to any more villains? As a piece of '80s cheese, it's watchable but sad that this is how Christopher Reeve left the character. As a Superman movie, it's forgettable.

6. Superman III
Released: 6/17/83

 
Superman III was a mess. What should have been another epic adventure for the Man of Steel ended up being a goofy, dumbed down attempt at comedy that doesn't work on any level. Richard Pryor guest stars as the comic relief, but he simply didn't do anything for the film. The only redeeming quality for this movie is the fight between the "bad" Superman and Clark Kent, but it doesn't prevent Superman III from being one of the worst movies ever made.


So far, the current iteration of Superman has been a bit dark, brooding, and serious. Hopefully by the time Justice League rolls around, we'll get a taste of the hero that will inspire new generations of kids to tie a red sheet around their shoulders and leap off the furniture in a single bound.