Condorman: Comic Book Spy Spoof

In 1981, comic book movies were limited to Superman. The first two films in that series had released in 1978 and 1980, respectively. Movie studios were still very far from trusting in the genre to bring in the box office revenues that such films enjoy today. Around this same time, Disney was experimenting with live-action films with a broad appeal, as The Black Hole (1979), Midnight Madness (1980), and Watcher in the Woods (1980) sought to capture adult audiences along with the younger set. For the most part this experiment didn't pay off, and Condorman, which was also a comic book movie not actually based on a comic book, was no exception.

Based on a book entitled The Game of X by Robert Sheckley, Condorman is the tale of comic book writer and artist Woody Wilkins, who dresses up like one of his creations, Condorman, to get a sense of realism for his stories. His friend Harry, who happens to work for the CIA, sends Woody on what appears to be a routine and harmless mission to simply exchange some papers. Woody plays along and adopts the codename "Condorman" when he meets a Russian lady named Natalia, who turns out to be a KGB agent who desires to defect. Woody is officially recruited by the CIA to help Natalia defect, and is supplied with vehicles and gear that go along with the Condorman theme. The result finds Woody in many a perilous situation which he manages to bumble his way out of.

Condorman is silly. It's preposterous that the CIA would hire a guy like Woody and spend thousands, maybe millions on high-tech equipment like a cool Condorman car and speedboat equipped with laser guns. Anyone going in to this movie expecting serious super hero fare will doubtless be disappointed. For those who enjoy bad movies that are actually quite good given the right mindset, Condorman is a treat. This is a comedy. Part James Bond spoof, partly inspired by the Pink Panther films, Condorman is fun, light, and goofy with nary a sense of brooding found in many of today's comic book films.

There are elements of Condorman that make it memorable and serve as "classic" features of film that you just don't get anymore. There's a villain with a metallic eye. There are cool vehicles and gadgets. There are plenty of brainless henchmen working for the main villain. There is a great speedboat chase/battle with lasers and explosions. And yes, there are some terrible blue screen effects, and moments you can see the wires when Condorman is "flying". Yes, indeed, Condorman is bad, but it's so good.

One problem for fans of great bad movies or of Disney films or 80's films is the limited availability of Condorman on home formats. Anchor Bay released the movie on DVD in 1999, but it is long out of print. Now the film is available exclusively through the Disney Movie Club on DVD, or a bad transfer through You Tube.

Ranked: Star Trek Films

With Star Trek Beyond currently playing in theaters, and everyone else having already posted their list of best-to-worst Star Trek films, here is yet another slightly different ranking of the previous twelve(!) Star Trek movies. This list will present the movies in order of best to worst, along with release dates. Here we go...

1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Released: 6/4/82

Usually regarded by most as the best in the Star Trek series, The Wrath of Khan is indeed a science-fiction classic. The sense of camaraderie here may possibly surpass that of the original TV show, and even though the budget was smaller than the first movie, director Nicholas Meyer presents a look and feel that would influence the rest of this series. There isn't a slow moment here, and both William Shatner and Ricardo Montalban turn in triumphantly over-the-top performances. One of my personal all-time favorite movies.

2. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Released: 11/26/86

 
While The Wrath of Khan is the best of this franchise, The Voyage Home is the most fun. Each crew member of the Enterprise gets their chance to shine as they travel back to 1986 to save the future. The "fish out of water" concept is executed perfectly. This movie had mass appeal. In years gone by, many of those who were never interested in Star Trek would say, "I'm not a Star Trek fan, but I've seen the one with the whales.".

3. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Released: 12/6/91

 
Director Nicholas Meyer, of Star Trek II, returned to give the original Enterprise crew their send-off, and it couldn't have been better. This one has mystery, adventure, and humor all blended together. Christopher Plummer shines as Klingon villain Chang, and the rest of the supporting cast is obviously having a lot of fun. An underrated score highlights the conflict between Starfleet and the Klingon Empire. The Undiscovered Country can easily make one forget about the dismal Star Trek V.

4. Star Trek: First Contact
Released: 11/22/96

The best of the Next Generation films, First Contact has action aplenty, time travel, the Borg, and a new Enterprise. The crew really shines, highlights being an inebriated Troi, Worf's hammy dialogue as he blasts the Borg, Picard with a tommy gun, and "Magic Carpet Ride" blasting from Zefram Cochrane's ship (a precursor to the Beastie Boys song in Beyond?).

5. Star Trek
Released: 5/8/09

Everything old is new again in J.J. Abrams' reboot of one of the biggest franchises in film history. There's no denying it's a grand adventure on an epic scale, especially that opening scene with the birth of James Kirk. And the actors are spot-on as they fill in the shoes of the original crew. However, something about it's resetting of the history of these characters doesn't sit well, and the set-up for original future adventures is just now being realized with the latest entry, Beyond.

 

6. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Released: 6/1/84

The middle entry of the "trilogy" that's comprised of Star Trek II-IV, The Search for Spock usually gets a bad rap. On the contrary, it's actually very good. A rousing adventure with some great moments including Christopher Lloyd as Kruge and the destruction of the Enterprise, Star Trek III is an 80's sci-fi classic that stands as one of the best of the series. There is simply no merit to the "odd-numbered curse" that film-goers have placed on this franchise.

7. Star Trek: Nemesis
Released: 12/13/02

 

Critics were hard on Nemesis, and it didn't fare too well at the box office, ending the Next Generation film series. The movie isn't really bad at all, even though it's probably the darkest of the bunch. Highlights include an early appearance by Tom Hardy as Shinzon, and his ship the Scimitar, as well as Picard racing around in a futuristic dune buggy. Too bad the Next Generation crew didn't get the send-off The Undiscovered Country gave to the original.

8. Star Trek: Generations
Released: 11/18/94

 
Generations bridges the gap between the original and The Next Generation crews. It was inevitable that Captains Kirk and Picard would meet, and it's fairly satisfying, save for the underwhelming death of Kirk (Oh, my.) toward the end. Data has some good moments, and Malcolm McDowell gives the franchise another great villain. Not a bad way to kick off the Next Generation films, but not a great way, either.

9. Star Trek Into Darkness
Released: 5/16/13
This is perhaps the most divisive film in the series. The love-it-or-hate-it split stems from the similarities between this film and Wrath of Khan. Most see it as unnecessary and poorly executed. Why, after going through the trouble of creating an alternate timeline, would the film-makers copy a previous film? Why would they hire a top-tier actor like Benedict Cumberbatch and put him in the role of Khan? It's unoriginal and infuriating, and while it's not a bad film, it's a bad Star Trek film.

10. Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Released: 12/7/79

 
The Motion Picture had such promise. The director was Robert Wise (The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Sound of Music), the budget was huge for the time, and the sci-fi genre was a sure bet in the late 70's. The result was instead quite a bore. The movie is slow, with many yawn-inducing scenes of the Enterprise in space dock or moving through the ship V'Ger that just go on and on. It's nice to see the crew getting back together at the beginning, and the practical effects hold up for the most part.

10. Star Trek: Insurrection
Released: 12/11/98

 
After the triumphant First Contact comes this drivel. Insurrection was nothing more than an overlong episode of The Next Generation. A boring one. Too much political mumbo-jumbo and a plot that just doesn't seem at all important make this the weakest entry for Picard and crew. How critics rate this better than Nemesis is a mystery.

11. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Released: 6/9/89

 
What comes next after the amazing "trilogy" that was Star Trek II-IV? The worst Trek movie of all. The Final Frontier gave William Shatner the chance to direct a Star Trek movie and the result is a mess. Surprise! Spock has a half-brother named Sybok and he hijacks the Enterprise to go to the end of the universe to find God. Only it's not God. It's a mean alien who is a gigantic head. Terrible.


So there you have it. All twelve Star Trek movies.. Anyone not familiar with this franchise who is interested should definitely start with Star Trek's II, III, and IV. Skip Insurrection and The Final Frontier entirely. All of these films of course are available on home video formats, and some of them are available for streaming on Netflix.

Ranked: Superman Films

With Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice having already released digitally and on physical formats soon, what better time to look back at all of the previous films featuring Superman.  There have been six such films so far (with more on the way), and here they are, from best to worst.

1. Superman
Released 12/10/78

Still standing strong as the greatest superhero movie of all time, Superman is the granddaddy of comic book films. This classic still sets the bar for the genre with its perfect blend of action, camp, and characterization. The scale is epic, and director Richard Donner obviously cares about the material and the character. Christopher Reeve is Superman, and no other actor has represented a pop icon better. Gene Hackman has fun with the role of Lex Luthor. Margot Kidder's portrayal of Lois Lane may not be the most glamorous, but she succeeds at exuding no-nonsense reporter attitude. The effects do show their age, but the practicality of them allows the viewer to appreciate the efforts made by film makers before CGI. If I had to pick one weakness out, it would be the "Can You Read My Mind?" monologue, but it certainly doesn't ruin the film. We wouldn't have superhero movies without this one.

2. Superman II / Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut
Released: 12/4/80, 11/28/06

   
Most of Superman II was filmed concurrently with the original, until director Richard Donner was fired and Richard Lester was hired and finished the film. For whatever reason, Lester decided to tip the scales a little too far on the side of camp, yet still offer a movie that is a superhero classic of its own. The tone is all over the map with the aforementioned camp on one end and harsh violence on the other (the astronaut scene comes to mind). Superman is up against three villains from Krypton, including General Zod, so he actually gets to fight someone this time, spectacularly so in the famous Coke sign scene.
In 2006, Richard Donner was able to see his version through and the result was perhaps a better movie than the original, with plenty of unseen footage. A treat for fans of this series, yet the original still manages to be more entertaining, maybe due to nostalgia, or maybe because the Donner Cut feels incomplete.

3. Man of Steel
Released: 6/14/13


After Superman Returns didn't quite live up to studio expectations ($391 million worldwide), it was time to follow in the footsteps of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy and reboot the franchise. Man of Steel acts as the first movie in the DC Comics "shared universe" series as they attempt to capitalize on the success that Marvel has had with the formula. Opinions regarding this film are mixed, but Man of Steel is a solid superhero film. It is epic in scale, packed with big action, and loud. The action here truly showcases Superman's (and the movies' antagonists') powers. Henry Cavill and Amy Adams shine in the lead roles, while Michael Shannon is menacing enough as General Zod. Shortcomings include an all-too-serious tone, too little time spent on the Clark/Lois relationship, and a lack of fun and humor.

4. Superman Returns
Released: 6/28/06

Upon initial release, Superman Returns was favorably received by critics and audiences alike, yet as time has passed many dismiss the film, citing a lack of action and poor pacing. Despite the backlash, Superman Returns indeed stands as a great superhero film and a nice entry in the series that hadn't seen a good movie in 26 years. The film is pure nostalgia for Superman movie fans, and maybe that's why general audiences didn't get it. This is a traditional comic book movie, a nod to the work of Richard Donner and Christopher Reeve. Watching Superman Returns is akin to seeing a cover band of your favorite music group. It's good, but not quite the same. Whatever the opinion on this one is, that plane crash sequence is one of the most mesmerizing moments put on film in the last ten years.

5. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Released: 7/24/87

Superman IV is considered by most to be the worst in the series, and though it's certainly not good, it's not as bad as Superman III. This film is really a case study for the what-might-have-been. The budget for the film was slashed, resulting in a large amount of story and filmed scenes being cut, and special effects being terrible. This is a far cry from the first film. Even the reappearance by Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor can't give the film a boost. It's also a wonder as to why the villain is Nuclear Man, a character that has nothing to do with the DC hero of the same name. Did Warner Bros. not have the rights to any more villains? As a piece of '80s cheese, it's watchable but sad that this is how Christopher Reeve left the character. As a Superman movie, it's forgettable.

6. Superman III
Released: 6/17/83

 
Superman III was a mess. What should have been another epic adventure for the Man of Steel ended up being a goofy, dumbed down attempt at comedy that doesn't work on any level. Richard Pryor guest stars as the comic relief, but he simply didn't do anything for the film. The only redeeming quality for this movie is the fight between the "bad" Superman and Clark Kent, but it doesn't prevent Superman III from being one of the worst movies ever made.


So far, the current iteration of Superman has been a bit dark, brooding, and serious. Hopefully by the time Justice League rolls around, we'll get a taste of the hero that will inspire new generations of kids to tie a red sheet around their shoulders and leap off the furniture in a single bound.

The Black Hole: 70's Sci-Fi Gold

After the success of Star Wars in 1977, studios clamored to crank out more science fiction to cash in on the craze. Disney's first entry came two years later with The Black Hole. The film was moderately successful, yet garnered mixed reviews from critics who were wowed by the visual effects but felt the story was a little flat. The Black Hole saw further success on home video and the Disney Channel in the 1980's, and there were several merchandising tie-ins such as toys, comic books, and trading cards. During the 90's the movie started to fall into obscurity and stayed in the minds of only those who were fans of the genre.

The Black Hole begins with the spaceship USS Palomino coming across another ship, the Cygnus, as it returns from a mission. The Cygnus is somehow perched on the edge of a black hole, and the crew of the Palomino decides to investigate. They encounter the mysterious Dr. Reinhardt and a crew of robots running the Cygnus, with no sign of a human crew. It is soon revealed that Reinhardt is intent on traveling through the black hole at any cost, even the possible destruction of the Cygnus. The crew of the Palomino uncover the true nature of Reinhardt's plan and attempt to prevent the madman from killing everyone and destroying both ships.

The Black Hole offers a very interesting first half, with all of the mysterious goings on, the introduction of the whacked-out villain and his cool robot companions (especially the spinning blade-wielding Maximilian), and of course the creepy black hole itself. Things don't stay quite as strong for the finale of the film, with the exception of the visual effects. The Black Hole features a strong cast, including the likes of Robert Forster, Ernest Borgnine, and Anthony Perkins. Most of the performances are pretty solemn, but in a way they match the tone of the film.

What sets The Black Hole apart from many sci-fi films of the era are its amazing visual effects. From the swirling black hole to the ships to the incredible meteor storm, the Oscar nominated effects still work today, for the most part. Check this shot of a meteor making its way through the Cygnus:

I still prefer practical effects to CGI effects, not that the CG stuff can't be impressive, there's just something about a space ship that was actually built by hand in miniature form that gives the illusion of a massive space vehicle. Also of note in The Black Hole are the robots. Sure, little robots V.I.N.CENT and B.O.B. are heavily influenced by R2-D2, but they're there for comic relief and to appeal to the younger set. The sentry robots and Maximilian still provide a cool factor with their laser gun arms and whirling blades.

One of my favorite eras in film is late-seventies to mid-eighties sci-fi. From the Star Wars and Star Trek films to lesser-known fare such as Tron and The Last Starfighter, each film really broke ground when it came to the technical aspects of movie making. The Black Hole holds up as a technical achievement, and is worth a look for any science fiction fan.

There have been rumors over the last few years concerning a remake of The Black Hole, with Tron Legacy director Joseph Kosinski at the helm. Remakes are usually hit or miss, but I would personally like to see The Black Hole re-imagined today. In the meantime, the original is begging for a Blu-ray release.